Transitions are everywhere.
Waking up. Leaving the house. Switching tasks. Ending a conversation. Starting school. Finishing work. A change in plans. A change in people. A change in expectations. A change in the rules that were never written down in the first place.
For many autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD people, transitions are not small moments between things. They are events. Sometimes loud. Sometimes heavy. Sometimes invisible to everyone else.
This piece explores why transitions can be hard, what’s happening internally, and how we can support across home, school, work, and community. It is written with care, not deficit. Difficulty with transitions is not a failure of character, motivation, or cooperation. It is a mismatch between nervous systems and environments.
Note: Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) involve distinct drivers and nervous system dynamics. They deserve their own dedicated discussion and are intentionally not the focus here.
What Do We Mean by “Transitions”?
Transitions include both external changes and internal shifts, such as:
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Moving from one activity to another
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Changes in routine, timing, or expectations
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Starting or stopping tasks
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Switching attention, roles, or environments
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Emotional transitions (calming down, gearing up, letting go)
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Social transitions (arrivals, departures, turn-taking, endings)
Some transitions are predictable. Many are not. Some are optional. Others are imposed.
For neurodivergent people, especially autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD individuals, transitions often involve multiple simultaneous demands hitting at once.
Why Transitions Can Be Difficult
(Without pathologising)
1. Executive Function Load
Transitions require the brain to:
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Stop one task
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Inhibit momentum
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Hold the next task in mind
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Sequence steps
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Regulate emotion
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Shift attention
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Re-orient sensory processing
For autistic and ADHD brains, executive functioning differences mean this load is heavier and slower, not absent.
This is not a lack of skill. It is a different processing economy.
2. Predictability and Safety
Autistic nervous systems often rely on predictability to feel safe. Transitions, especially sudden ones, disrupt the internal map of “what happens next.”
When predictability drops, anxiety rises. Not always visibly. Often internally.
For AuDHD people, this can be especially complex:
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The autistic need for predictability
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The ADHD drive for novelty or momentum
Colliding, not cancelling each other out.
3. Sensory Re-Calibration
Every environment has a sensory profile.
Transitions often mean:
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New sounds, lighting, temperatures
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Different clothing expectations
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Movement through crowded spaces
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Shifts in sensory demand without recovery time
The body has to re-tune itself. That takes energy.
4. Emotional Continuity
Transitions interrupt emotional flow.
Many neurodivergent people experience emotions as deep, immersive states, not quick ripples. Being asked to “move on” can feel like emotional whiplash.
Ending something enjoyable can be as dysregulating as starting something stressful.
5. Time Perception Differences
ADHD and autistic people often experience time as:
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Non-linear
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Now or not-now
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Slippery, elastic, or disappearing
“Five minutes” may not register as actionable without support. Transitions anchored only in clock time often fail.
What’s Happening on the Inside
(What many wish others understood)
“I’m not refusing. I’m stuck.”
“My brain hasn’t let go of the last thing yet.”
“I need more time to land, not more pressure to move.”
“I heard you. My body hasn’t caught up.”
“If you rush me, everything gets harder.”
Internally, transitions can feel like:
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Being pulled underwater while still finishing a sentence
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Having multiple browser tabs crash at once
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Dropping all the plates just to pick up one
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Losing access to language or skills under pressure
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Knowing what to do but not being able to start
This is not laziness. It is not defiance. It is neurobiological lag.
How We Can Support
Across roles and environments
As Friends and Community
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Give heads-up warnings, not sudden pivots
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Ask, “How much notice helps you?” (not everyone will be able to answer this, and that is ok)
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Avoid moralising difficulty (“It’s not a big deal”)
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Stay present during endings, not just beginnings
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Let transitions be collaborative, not performative
Sometimes support is simply waiting without judgement.
At Home (Parents, Guardians, Households)
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Use visual schedules or written plans
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Build in buffer time between activities
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Offer choices about how to transition
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Narrate transitions early and often
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Respect recovery time after big shifts
Consistency creates safety. Flexibility creates trust. Both matter.
In Education (Teachers, Schools, Educators)
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Signal transitions clearly and early
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Use visual timers, schedules, and cues
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Avoid public countdowns that increase pressure
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Allow staggered transitions when possible
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Recognise that “refusal” may be regulation in progress
A student struggling with transitions is communicating a need, not issuing a challenge.
At Work (Employers, Colleagues, Managers)
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Avoid last-minute changes when possible
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Put expectations in writing
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Allow task-completion before task-switching
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Respect transitions between meetings and roles
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Normalise regulation breaks
Productivity increases when nervous systems are supported.
For Support Workers and Carers
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Treat transitions as part of the task, not an obstacle
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Co-regulate rather than escalate
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Track patterns over time
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Advocate for environmental adjustments
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Honour autonomy in pacing
Support is not speed. It is attunement.
What Helps During Transitions
(From lived experience)
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Advance notice
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Clear endings and beginnings
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Visual supports
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Transitional objects or rituals
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Music, movement, or grounding
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Choice and agency
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Being believed
Small accommodations reduce large distress.
What Makes Transitions Harder
(Often unintentionally)
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Rushing
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Minimising distress
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Power struggles
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Public pressure
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Inconsistent expectations
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Punishing dysregulation
Compliance is not regulation. Silence is not calm.
Reframing the Narrative
Difficulty with transitions is not a flaw to be corrected.
It is a signal.
A signal that the system needs:
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More time
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More clarity
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More safety
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More collaboration
When we change environments instead of blaming people, transitions soften.
A Note on Strengths
Neurodivergent people often bring:
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Deep focus
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Creativity
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Integrity
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Emotional honesty
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Commitment to meaning
Supporting transitions protects these strengths. It does not dilute them.
Final Thought
Transitions ask us to leave one place and arrive in another.
For some people, that journey is short.
For others, it crosses terrain most never see.
Support is not about making that journey faster.
It’s about walking it together.
Resources
(Neuro-affirming and evidence-informed)
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Autism CRC
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Yellow Ladybugs
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Reframing Autism
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Neurodiversity Podcast
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Monotropism Research Network
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“NeuroTribes” by Steve Silberman
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“Unmasking Autism” by Devon Price
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“Smart but Scattered” by Dawson & Guare
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Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN)
