Interoception, Transitions, and Returning to School
There is a quiet assumption embedded in many systems that work with children.
That when something goes wrong, an adult somewhere knows why.
Why a child won’t move.
Why they shut down.
Why they explode.
Why they refuse.
Why they can’t “just start”.
The assumption sounds like expertise.
In practice, it often becomes a shortcut.
Behaviour gets labelled.
Function gets guessed.
Interventions get applied.
And the child’s internal world remains untouched.
The Problem With “Knowing the Why”
Much of traditional behaviour-based practice rests on the idea that behaviour has a clear, observable function that adults can accurately identify.
Attention-seeking.
Avoidance.
Escape.
Control.
These labels can sound tidy, but they often flatten complexity.
They rely on external observation, not internal experience.
They prioritise adult interpretation, not child meaning.
They move quickly toward change, rather than understanding.
When the adult believes they already know the why, curiosity closes.
When curiosity closes, relationship thins.
And without relationship, regulation becomes compliance at best, collapse at worst.
Interoception Changes the Question Entirely
Interoception is the sense that allows us to notice what is happening inside our bodies.
Hunger.
Tension.
Fatigue.
Heart rate.
Breath.
Emotion before language.
For many autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD children, interoceptive awareness can be delayed, inconsistent, overwhelming, or difficult to interpret.
This means:
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The child may not know what they are feeling yet
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The sensation may arrive as distress before meaning
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Words may come later, if at all
Interoception invites a radically different stance.
Not:
“What is this behaviour trying to get?”
But:
“What might this body be experiencing right now?”
And more importantly:
“How can we stay with this together?”
Why This Matters So Much During Transitions
Transitions are not just changes in activity.
They are full-body events.
Transitions ask a nervous system to:
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Let go of one state
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Prepare for another
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Reorient sensory input
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Shift emotional gears
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Update expectations
All often without pause.
For children with interoceptive differences, transitions can trigger internal signals that feel sudden, intense, or confusing.
What we may see:
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Resistance
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Distress
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Withdrawal
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Anger
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Shutdown
What may be happening internally:
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A spike in arousal with no clear label
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A sense of danger without a reason
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A body saying “too fast” while words are still loading
When adults assume they know why, the response often escalates pressure.
When adults admit they don’t know, something else becomes possible.
Starting Back at School: Where This Shows Up First
The return to school is one of the most transition-heavy periods of the year.
Multiple changes happen at once:
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Sleep routines shift
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Sensory environments intensify
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Social demands reappear
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Expectations return immediately
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Autonomy decreases
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Performance increases
For many students, especially neurodivergent students, distress in the early weeks is not about school refusal or lack of motivation.
It is about unprocessed internal load.
A body that has not yet recalibrated.
A nervous system still scanning for safety.
An internal world trying to catch up.
What We Might See (And What It Might Mean)
Instead of asking what behaviour means in isolation, we can widen the lens.
You might notice:
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Increased lateness or slow starts
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Emotional outbursts after school
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Seeming “fine” all day then collapsing at home
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Difficulty starting tasks
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Avoidance of specific transitions
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Regression in skills
These are not signs of manipulation.
They are often signs of interoceptive overwhelm meeting external demand.
What Helps: Support That Begins With Not Knowing
For Educators and Schools
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Pause before interpreting behaviour
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Reduce demand during high-transition moments
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Narrate transitions clearly and early
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Offer predictable rhythms without rigidity
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Allow regulation before expectation
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Use private check-ins instead of public corrections
Most importantly:
Hold the possibility that you do not yet know what this student is experiencing internally.
That humility builds trust.
For Parents and Caregivers
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Expect decompression after school
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Avoid interrogating behaviour
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Reflect sensations, not just actions
“It looks like your body had a big day.” -
Create space for recovery before problem-solving
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Share insights with schools when possible
Children regulate better when they feel believed, not analysed.
For Support Workers and Community
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Stay curious rather than corrective
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Slow transitions wherever possible
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Offer choice and agency
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Validate before redirecting
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Remember that regulation is relational
Support is not about fixing the moment.
It is about staying present inside it.
Moving From Control to Connection
Behaviour-focused approaches often ask:
“How do we stop this from happening again?”
Interoceptive approaches ask:
“What does this child need to notice, name, and feel safe with?”
One centres authority.
The other centres relationship.
Only one builds the foundation for:
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Emotional literacy
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Self-regulation
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Communication
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Trust
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Change that lasts
A Different Kind of Expertise
Admitting we don’t know the why is not a failure of professionalism.
It is an ethical stance.
It says:
“I see your behaviour, but I honour that your internal world belongs to you.”
“I am willing to learn with you, not decide for you.”
“I value relationship over control.”
That is where safety begins.
That is where transitions soften.
That is where school, growth, development, partnership, becomes possible again for many children.
